Day 2 : The always best man in my heart

Ok,soon, it comes day 2.
Today is not my day.

Once, I thought I can be that optimistic
even if he's not mine again
because I didn't cry
not even a drop of tears
But, it soon comes the worst by today.

In the morning, I took my van to school as usual
walked towards school from the Shell petrol station as usual also
then I carelessly sprained my ankle of the same leg for the second time
just because I didn't noticed a little pipe on the floor
Luckily, I still have a little fortune I think
It's not that serious
just having terribly pain for awhile
and my day goes on as usual again...

During 1st recess time
I found out that my very very best friend didn't come to school
and I don't even know why
She seemed well in the day before
without her, I know, I should be even more independent by today
Then, I went to the JE Center to finish some little stuffs
of course, just me, myself.

Afterwards when I "crawled" back to my class
I backed and sit at my place
Lie my head down on the table
watching people walk around from the window
By that time, my "neighbor" was busy doing her work
and I just felt like don't wanna do anything
Just, staring outside

And soon, I "immersed" into my own world
without bothering what was happening in the class
Again, memories flashback to those days
he carried me on his back,
and the smile, bright smile, on OUR face
it's always happy to be with him, always.

Finally, I got into the "breaking up" mood
I felt like crying, or maybe bleeding,
but it's just all happening in my heart

After recess, it comes Economy class, if I'm not mistaken.
I totally can't concentrate on my class
I know what's the teacher teaching about
roughly know the contents
but I just unable to digest it
my mind filled with memories, those PERFECT memories.

I knew I couldn't be like that
because I have promised myself to be better
to live my life with smile
So, I started to find some ways to express my sadness
I called my "neighbor" sitting behind to hold his tumbler for me to punch ( as he is from Wushu Society, so I think it's not a big deal for him haha )
Then, I shake his tumbler and made water droplets "moisturizing" his books
I tried to find something fun to do, to play around
What's lucky is that I recovered my mood as soon as I played with my funny "neighbors"
really glad to have them to sit around
they always bring me lots of fun and craziness

Then, it comes to Mathematics class, again @@
I took his photo out, which I always kept it inside my little note book
I put it inside a little bag which is transparent
and I planned to give it back to him tomorrow
but, unfortunately, some little incidents happened
I LOST the photo :(
my friends play with it then passed it around then it lost
at first I'm not that sad cause I thought they are only playing with me
then when I realized that it really lost
I'm a bit nervous
but I still thought that it can be found back because it's really impossible for something to disappear in a sudden
I called few of my friends to find it for me
then 2nd recess passed, 2 more classes passed, and finally it comes to after school time
but, the photo still didn't appear
I LOST IT!
I'm not only sad because of it, I still feel so sorry to him
it's belong to him, not mine, but I lost it :(
How can I, a careless one, could be trusted again?

After I walked everywhere to look for it but to no avail
I totally gave up, hopeless, despair.
It really means a lot to me
cause I simply think that
I lost it...like how I lost him, like how he went out of my life
what if I can found it?
Is it simply means that we will be getting back together?
what if I can't found it, like now?
So is it means that we won't be getting back together anymore?
Is it a signal from God, telling me to let go of him?
Then, finally I cried.
Not burst out, but my tears came out slowly
I tried to control them but failed
HOPELESS.
Till now, I still feeling hopeless.
I really hope that miracle will happen tomorrow
God, please make miracle,
please tell me that we still have a chance between us, PLEASE.

Then, I went back home by taking taxi
cause I don't want to worsen my leg's situation
since I still have to play basketball during tomorrow's PE class
and it's gonna to be counted as exam marks
So, I need to take good care of it tonight @@
At first, I planned to wait for taxi with Kai Qi
but she suddenly can't accompany me
I'm disappointed also, but then I let her go,
like what I did yesterday,
cause I know, one day in the future I need to be more independent though
So....that's it.
I know that I'm growing up, day by day.

And, the most important things for today,
as my title written, he's the always best man for me
Why said so?

Today, it's the day he went for the preliminary 5000m race
I knew it yesterday night
as my classmate posted a name list of participants
then I saw his name, as what I predicted.
After hesitating for a period of time
I've made my decision to wish him through Whatsapp
I don't know if he needs my encouragement or not
but I did it.
Then, after school, as I bring along my sadness,
walking down the staircase, I met him.
He smiled towards me. So do I.
then I wish him again
then we simply talked for awhile.

But, seriously, I was worrying about him for a day
worried about his asthma
cause I know how suffer is it when having asthma
and he was gonna run for at least 35 laps, in estimating 45 minutes ( 1 minit 15 seconds per lap )
I already felt like dying when I heard this
How could he dare to do so?
But, I trust him.
Just because, it's him.
I just want him to take good care of himself, then that's it.

After I went back my home,
one of my friends asked me,
"Don't you planned to ask him about the result?"
I think, no need.
It simply because,
to me, he's always the BEST,
I trusted that he had done his very best performance
and no matter what's the result is,
HE WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST ONE, BEST MAN, IN MY HEART.
No doubts.

Thanks God,
that you're safe, healthy, still.
and finished your "challenge" successfully
Today is not my day,
but I hope it's yours.

Once again, thanks God.


With love,
16/04/2015